Friday, June 5, 2009

What I would Do If I Won the Lottery

The notation of winning the Lottery has been playing in my mind a lot recently mostly due to the fact that reality of the "Real World" (Not that Tripe that's on TV) is setting in. I went to a Job Fair a while back and it felt like I was a Horse walking into a Glue Factory. 

(This Seriously was the best image I could find, yet it's somehow fitting)

It was just tons of Doom & Gloom as soon as I walked in. A lot of the companies that actually showed up weren't even really hiring and if they were they seemed like Boiler Room operations that were based off of commission, needless to say it gave me anxiety and just an uneasy feeling.

Ultimately I'd like to do something Writing like Public Relations, Reporting, Writing for the Media or even continue with my own Writing whether it be through this Blog or my own short stories and/or screenplays. Any of those options would be fucking Awesome because it's something I like doing and something I'm good at.

Which gets me to the basis of this blog; Winning the Lottery. I've been thinking a lot about this recently which is odd because I barely ever play it. Once in a blue moon I will pick up a Lotto ticket yet every time I buy one I never check up on whether or not I have won or not (Fucking Brilliant!, I know). 
Cat-CatSittingAtBarCutOffIJustGotHe.jpg Cut off?! image by Repented
Whenever I go to Happy Hour at Skipper's down in downtown Main Street Northport if I have a pretty good buzz going I invest in Quick Draw as if it were a commodity and usually end up with Sail Boat Fuel. Even worse then that though is I used to buy Scratch Off Tickets as if they were vials of Crack and would usually end up the same way; Shattered, Broken & trying to exchange Cheeseburgers/Blowjobs for another hit.
Do ya Notice the pathetic trend here? Haha, I sure as hell do! I digress though as I will now lead on to what I would do if I did actually won the Lotto or at least fall ass backwards into a nice pile of Scrooge McDuck type money. 

A lot of people would go ahead and just blow it all on stupid shit, it's pretty easy to do that, not too say I'd be any different because I assure you I could do that with a decent chunk of it but I would defiantly save a good portion of it in order to live off of it.
The only real frivolous thing I would purchase would be to have a true to life Pirate Ship made so whenever I needed a break from Society I would take that bad boy out for a spin for like a month or so or however long it took for me to acquire Scurvy.

As far as living quarters I'd defiantly get a summer type home down in Florida. I've always had an affinity for ridiculous looking "MTV Cribs" like homes down there mostly due to the fact because I used to be/still am obsessed with Miami Vice and that whole laid back type life style. I'd take Miami or West Palm Beach, I'm not too picky (this said after saying earlier that I wouldn't spend my money on Frivolous things).

Without a doubt though I'd have to own a  place in New York. I love New York so much that it would be very tough for me too leave it for good. I wouldn't mind either getting a nice home somewhere in my hometown or even a sick Patrick Bateman like apartment on Central Park West. I think having a view of Central Park would give m a lot of inspiration with writing and what not.

The most important thing as far as living quarters goes that is an absolute must is to have a house in the country side that is in the middle of no where. The house would have to be massive, well stocked and heavily fortified. The house would have to have plenty of things to keep me and whoever is with me entertained and sane. This of coarse is preparation for the Zombie Apocalypse that will no doubt happen in the immediate future.

Basically what it boils down to as far what I would like to do with my money is that I would be able to live a life of what Peter from Office Space when he envisioned of a life of doing nothing. I would either just write full time or even do a small part time job that would keep me sane. 

I wouldn't mind opening my own business with my time and my money. Starting ventures I've always wanted to do like opening my own Music Venue that in itself was a Comic Book Store, Music Store, Cafe and an Arcade would be pretty sweet.

It would kinda be sick to open a bowling alley too. I would make it really bad ass and just for shits and giggles I would hire Tony from Larkfield Lanes AKA the real life Moe from the Simpsons to work at my bowling alley.

Either that or opening my own Video Store that had all the movies I liked and the shitty ones that me & my buddy Georg watch. To make it a little different and stand out from other video stores I would show double features inside the store at night.

As far as cars go I wouldn't really buy any supped up crazy cars or anything. The only real car that I would get is a DeLorean because I am a nerd. This way I could make an exact replica of Doc Brown's DeLorean with the interfacing panel board and Flux Compositor too. 

Now the question remains of what type of payment method I'd go with. I've determined mostly through discussions with numerous bartenders (let alone finical advisors) that I would go with the Lump Sum. I say this mostly because I'm operating off of two theories; (A) you don't know if the value of the dollar will go up or down & (B) you could easily die the next day.

On a somewhat kind of relating note to dying the next day (not really I just ran out of ideas to blog on the lottery about) David Carradine recently accidently killed himself via auto-erotic asphyxiation. Seriously, when has that ever been a good idea? Has no celebrity learned their lessons through Michael Hutchence from INXS or Ray whats his face from Family Fued? 

Seriously though David Carradine played one of my favorite roles of Frankenstein in the original Death Race 2000. He was also Bill in Kill Bill but he will always be remembered mostly for his role in Kung Fu: The Legend Continues......well not anymore, I'm an asshole!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am saddened you used a picture of Mr. Ed with your "horse into a glue factory joke." I love mr. ed.