Monday, August 18, 2008

Cool Dr. Money Haircut's First Show!

So Our Band, Cool Dr. Money Haircut, played our first show on Friday Night @ Gunther's Tap Room on Main Street in Downtown Northport. We have only been Playing for about a Month and a half now (the same amount of time that I've been playing Bass for) and I think we did awesome for our first show. In the Band is Neil Chaudhry on Vocals & Rhythm Guitar, Gregory Todd Baker on Lead Guitar on Backing Vocals, and The Man, The Myth, The Legend Himself Mr. Brian Chaudhry on Drums. 
Earlier in the day I had worked so I'd be able to have the following 2 days off (Saturday & Sunday). After Work, I met everyone at Brian's place in Huntington to practice. We did 2 run throughs of our set which included an intro, 6 original's & a Cover. After Practice we packed our gear in our cars and Greg split to have dinner with his folks while Brian, Neil & I went into downtown Huntington for some Slices @ Joanne's.
While @ Joanne's we encountered a Nice Dame behind the counter with some Fine Gams. Also at the pizzeria was a family of 6 ugly, ugly! and annoying children with their miserable parents. At which point in time solidified my opinion of not having children ever!
After Joanne's Neil & I headed back to his pad in Northport as we literally just got in his door to his house right before the rain started to pour. We were just basically killing time before our show. I began playing Solitare to get my mind of the show to ward off what little tension/nerves had been building in the 3 hours before the show. 
(Curtis from Complete)
After a while Greg called telling us to put it on Public Access because there was some shitty band with horrible visual effects that was similar to "Complete" (Complete, if you dont know then you should, but that's another Blog in its own).
After that Greg, Brian, Nicole, Steve, Emily & Lukas pretty much all arrived at the same time meeting us at the Chaudhry Household. To take my mind off my nervousness of the show, Steve, Emily, Nicole, Lukas & I played the card game Scat, which may sound nasty but is really fun trust me! (That's What He Said?).
Steve eventually won the game, Without Cheating!, which was a change for once. After the game we all kind of were walking around the house just killing time. Around 9pm we got all of our equipment together and starting heading down towards Gunther's.
When we got there most of the Brooklyn Kids had already arrived as we began unloading our equipment inside. The Show was billed to start around 9:30 but we were waiting on the bar to fill and for the other bands (Womb Ripper & Bearface) to arrive. 

Around 10ish, I think, We began setting up the equipment and tuning and somewhere around 10:30ish after the bar had filled out decently and the other bands had arrived we began playing. 

We started with our intro and played our first four songs without any problems. On our 5th song we ran into a few problems and tried playing it twice before dropping it entirely. After that we played our last original song and then played our cover "Yelling in my Ear by Operation Ivy.

After We played I began my quest on getting rip roaring drunk, which I succeeded in! The band after us, Womb Ripper, which I hadn't heard any of their stuff but they were great. They kinda reminded me of Fugazi with Keyboards and Nintendo music.

After Womb Ripper there was some Drama (that won't be needed to be said) that went down that almost ruined the night but Mr. Gregory Todd Baker conituned to play 2 additonal solo sets that saved the evening. Earning him the name 3 Set Gary additonal to 3 Drink Gary.

Mr. Gregory Baker played a few originals which included "When Your Young" & "On Your Back", as well as a few covers such as a few Chuck Ragan & Against Me! tunes and a few Crowd Favorites like "Skulls" by the Misfits & "Ignition" by R. Kelly.

After GTB's sets, My buddies' Bearface started playing their homecoming set and shit just went off. They truly got people up and dancing and into it. I had never seen a live Bearface set but was amazed by there force as they tore up the Gunther's dance floor.

Bearface played just short of 45min in my drunk estimated guess. After there set people s
tayed around for a good while but by last call somewhere around 3am Gunther's was a ghost town and a shell of it's former self with spilt beer and shit everywhere.

After last call, My good friend Cathy Lewis and I proceeded to walk up to Neil's house. By the time we got there most of the people had beat us there. On our arrival, Smelson, Cathy, Lukas, Brian, Zach & I thought it would be a great idea to go swimming in Neil's pool, which his neighbors must have hated.

After a few front flips and a few front flip cannonballs by me off the diving board the pool conversation gravitated over normal customary pool conversation, such as heated breast implant debates. 
(Don't Do it Cathy!)

The rest of this period sorta is fuzzy to me but I do remember 3DG & I leaving Neil's house at around 5:30 or 6 in the morning. Needless to say the rest of my Saturday was a complete waste of a day.

All and All, Friday Night was the Greatest Night of my life. I had so much fun and got completely annihilated. I wanna thank Johnny Gunther who let us play at his fine establishment. And I'd also like to thank everyone who came out, it was great seeing everyone and I really do appreciate your presence at the show.

P.S. Thanx to Cathy for letting me Steal all the Photos of the show from her Myspace!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

An Evening Of Extraordinary Circumstance

So, Yesterday was one of the funniest filled days I have had in a long time! Wednesday was my first day off from work in 9 days & I took full advantage of it. My day started with me waking up at the Crack of 10 am. On my way to get my caffeine from work I noticed in the reflection of a car in front of me that my front left headlight was out. I figured my luck, thats how my day would go.

After visiting Dr. Feelgood I went to Cool Dr. Money Haircut band practice which lasted for while but it was very constructive and productive. We learned 2 new songs to our repertoire in order to get prepared for our show @ Gunther's next Friday 8/15 @ 9:30 pm (a good promoter knows when to get their plugs in!)

(a rare photo of an actual Cool Dr. Money Haircut!)

During practice a full of life Ms. Emily Soper had texted me with an enticing off of Mini Golf for the evening which also turned into Dinner before hand as well. How can you turn down Dinner & Mini Golf I ask you! Well You Could If Your a Blood Sucking Communist!

Any who, after practice I went home, shower and get changed and had about an hour to dick around the house and surf the net a bit. The Lovely and Vivacious Nicole DeLuise was so gracious enough to pick me up since of my Pa-Diddle situation(an out headlight). 

We met a one lord Esteban Delgado & Ms. Soper @ Starbucks and headed out to Chipotle restaurant in Huntington Station by the Walt Whitman Mall and feasted upon Burrito's from the Chipotle Gods.

After being incompasitated from our intake of fine Mexican cuisine we headed out to Heartland Golf in Brentwood. We all Mini-Golfed pretty well, in fact I got 2 hole in one's, one unassisted & one from Steven being a jerk but unbeknownst to him helped me get a hole in one anyway. 

We weren't able to tell who won however though because like a retard i decided "hey let's let steve, a man notorious for cheating in games keep score (i'll mention the Trivial Pursuit incident in a later post)." 

This was like giving a loaded gun to Michael J. Fox and requesting him to keep his fringer steady on the trigger (yikes, he's using Michael J. Fox parkinsons jokes?, yea he is!) The result of leaving Steve in charge of keeping score resulted in Emily having a 16 practically every hole and Steve having a Hole in One each Hole!

So after Mini-Golf we drove around in Nicole's car for a while and went down Sweet Hollow Road & Mt. Misery While Steve & I chewed chips very loudly to annoy Ms. Emily Soper. After being scared by Raccoons jumping out of no where in the back roads we decided we wanted to do a Scavenger Hunt in which we called Starbuck's and demanded Neil to make a list and we'd come by to pick it up.

Neil didn't make the list but our fine friend & associate Paul Guarino did, which included: Blue Beach Glass, A Boy Cabbage Patch Doll, Purple Condoms, A Gang Bang Porno, A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Action Figure, A Dollar From a Mexican, A Pink Diaphragm, & a Dollar from a Teenager.

Steve went home but contributed with a Dollar since he is Puerto Rican. So Emily (who contributed the Dollar for the Teenager portion) , Nicole and I set off on our journey in Emily's Jimmy which started with CVS which yielded nothing.

Next was Metro Mart which certainley had plenty of porno's as Emily was quoted to say "were obsessed with rear ends" but were sans Gang Bang. So we decided to drive down Larkfeild Road which we thought would be sleazy enough to support any of the said items on the scavenger hunt list. This resulted in us yelling out the window to everyone "DO YOU HAVE ANY GANG BANG PORNO'S?"

Then a Stroke of Genius Came upon us when we decided to go to the Pleasure Palace to seek our items (and yes, I completely excentuate the puns of "Stroke" & "Came" in that sentence). 

While we walked and gazed upon the majesty that is the pleasure palace two Goons got in some bickering fight to which i say "Gentlemen, Gentlemen! we're in the Pleasure Palace, can't we all just get along?"

We decided that the price of our first born for a Gang Bang Porno was too expensive so we took a picture of the Gang Bang sign and ogled the toys section while shopping for a gift for Paul for our thanks for creating our fantastic scavenger hunt list. 

After seeing way too many cocks in such a short time pan I announced that "i don't want to see anymore cocks!" We then decided on Penis Lollipops for Paul and then drove around listening to Emily's Awesome Mixes and then bought ice cream and ate it in the Starbucks parking lot.

So needless to say I had an awesome day but yet begs to ask the question Do I spend too much time at work outside of work? You decide!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Mike Tyson's Punch Out!


Mike Tyson's Punchout is Easily by Far the Greatest Video Game Ever Made With out a Doubt Hands Down! (Well at least in my own opinion).I remember being no older then 5 years old and constantly renting this game only week after week on end from the old school American Video. I should have just bought the fucking thing.

Although it was only an 8 Bit Graphic Game this game stole my heart at a very young age. And although many fantastic games have come and gone over the years from so many numerous consoles such as NES, SNES, Genesis, N64, PS1 & 2 as well as then new generation consoles this will always be the Bane of my existance as far as video games go. (Wow I sound like a major Tool!).

Why?, You Ask, Am I so obsessed with this Fossil of a Video Game? Maybe it was the horrid colors or maybe it was the Corny Midi keyboard soundtrack that created the atmosphere in the game. I can tell you one thing for sure though the Opponen
ts' AI in that Game were light years ahead of video game standards for that time. And That I'm a Complete Tool on so many levels!

Little Mac- Your Character! He's just your normal 17 year old kid from the Bronx, You Know, Taking on the worlds most formidable Heavy Weight Fighters just like I did when I was 17. Trained by the Heralded Doc Louis, Little Mac sets off on a Journey to Dethrone Iron Mike Tyson! So sit back, Relax and be prepared to be bored or find something else half way looking through this post!

Glass Joe- The easiest fighter in the entire game. He hits like my 89 year old grandmother and moves just as fast. He telegraphs his punches and swings like a rusty gate when he throws them. You should be able to get past him in the first round no problem. Although once in my Mike Tyson's Punch Out/American Video Hay Day I decided I wanted Glass Joe to Go the distance so I could see the sequence of the Decision at the end of the 3 rounds. Needless to say Glass Joe won and at the time my brother said that it will always go down in American Video history that Glass Joe's 1-99 record  was due to me which resulted in me crying my eyes out for some reason.

Von Kaiser- The next opponent you face in Mike Tyson's Punch Out Von Kaiser is the German Stereotype Fighter in a game full of Racist Stereotype characters. Hell they just don't make Racist Stereotype games like they used to in the NES Hay Day, has anyone else noticed that but me? Anyway, Von Kaiser is easy, he doesn't do much as far as moves and he sells them pretty well before he throws them. He doesn't pack much power and should be easy enough to take out before the end of the 1st or 2nd round.

Piston Honda- Can ya tell this is another Stereotype? Piston Honda is your first formidable opponent as well as your first title bout in the minor circuit. He packs a power full punch and he is quite quick. Piston Honda's moves are very well touted and are really the first adequate combo of moves you firt see in the game. You should be able to take down Piston Honda by the 2nd round but beware because you will face him again in the world circuit and he is bigger, stronger and faster the next time around! 

Don Flamenco- I don't even need to say it again...Don Flamenco is the first opponent you face in the Major Circuit, And he is Tough! He is quick and has a decent amount of power but his strength lies in BLOCKING ALL YOUR FUCKING PUNCHES!!!!! till your blue in the face and then he knocks you the fuck out. Other then that he is not too tough, You should be able to take him out in the 2nd round.

King Hippo- He's easy, and you should be able to take him out in the first round. King Hippo is very slow but very powerful so watch out if you get hit by one of his punches. The trick is to hit him in his taped up belly button as he continuously tries to pull up his boxing shorts as you do this. Once King Hippo is down he is down for good as Obesity rears it's ugly head and betrays poor old King Hippo.

Great Tiger- He is just a douche, plain and simple. He's fast, some-what powerful and is just a dirty fighter. I never liked fighting the man (er, uh, Video Game Character in this case). Here's a tip: The Jewel on his head wrap twinkles when he is about to throw a punch. Other then that I ain't got nothing!

Bald Bull- Bald Bull is quite possible the ugliest Video Game Character Alive (that is if binary coded characters actually had lives!) On a scale of 1 to 10 on an ugliness factor I'd have to give Bald Bull a Ernest Borgnine. Despite the lack of handsome in his department Bald Bull packs some pretty mean power. The key to beating him is punch him straight on when he charges at you. When You Beat Bald Bull You Become the Major Circuit Champion and then go one to the World Circuit.

Soda Popinski- He is one of the only 3 opponents in world circuit that you face that isn't an opponent you have faced in previous circuits. Soda Pop is the Russian Stereotype character you face in the game. He is pretty goddamn easy and shouldn't have a problem with him. *Little Known Fact (AKA: Good God I'm a Complete Tool)*: In the Japanese Version of the game, Soda Pop drinks Vodka not soda but in the US they didn't want to encourage underage drinking but they certainly didn't have problems with promoting Stereotypes!

Mr. Sandman- He just looks like a big retarded Goon, but don't be deceived by this because Mr. Sandman is quite the nasty fighter. Mr. Sandman has Count Chocula teeth and some pretty sweet sideburns (Not gonna lie!). He's not too quick but what he lacks in speed he makes up for in pure brute strength. He's about as cool as a case of diarrhea, enough said!

Super Macho Man- He just Confuses the fuck out of Me! Alright his Mug Shot makes him look like some old bag with old man strength so you think "Alright, No Big Deal" then when ya fight him ya realize he's some BIG FUCKING 12 FOOT BE
NEQOUP! WTF? He is one bad ass dude, I certainly wouldn't wanna fuck with him. He is also the World Circuit Champion and the last opponent you fight before Mike Tyson. However in the re-release of the game for NES after that whole Mike Tyson Hotel Fiasco thing that Iron Mike refers to it as "They Were Just Dancing"; Super Macho Man becomes the new top dog replacing Tyson and thus became called "Punchout".

Mike Tyson- Finally!, The Man of the Hour, Mike Tyson! The Man, The Myth, The Legend Himself and the source of all my wasted energy and your wasted time on this blog! Iron Mike is simply a killer, I've never lasted more then 12 seconds against him in the game. I've only seen video evidence via youtube of people beating the Dynamite Kid. Simply said he is tougher then a prison meatloaf, and Iron Mike should know! The only way I could sum up your pain from reading this entry is from Iron Mike's own quote "The Only Way I could make you feel my pain is by stomping on your Childern's Testicles" He is a True Poet!

After Reading This Entry You must be asking yourself "Man, Mike, Sure Knows A Lot About Boxing." That's a Bunch of Poppy-Cock though, All I know about Boxing is Never Bet on the White Guy!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Miami Vice

Yea, Just Admit it, You watch it just like everyone else! The only difference between you and me is I don't just like it.....I LOVE IT!!!

From the Pastel Sport Coats & the overkill of New Wave & Phil Collins to the abundance of Mullets that are present in practically every episode nothing personifies the 80's better than Miami Vice (Besides the obvious like Cocaine, Ronnie Reagan & awful, awful Day Glow attire).

Miami Vice featured Don Johnson (in his prime) as James "Sonny" Crockett. Crockett was a smooth talking Undercover Vice Cop who lived on a ***house boat*** with a pet alligator named Elvis.  No matter how wild and crazy things got in the end Sonny always did things by the book.

And What Kind of TV Cop doesn't have an equally Entertaining Partner, you ask? That question can be answered with 3 simple names Philip Michael Thomas (who I'm not really too sure had a prime but had a fantastic music video featured Here: 

PMT played Ricardo Tubbs, a rough around the edges NYC cop who arrived in Miami on "assignment" to track down the dreaded drug lord Calderone who in Tubbs words "Killed My Brotha!" (which I attempted to say just like Tubbs as I typed this and failed miserably).

Miami Vice was really the first TV show to be REAL gritty and openly show Drugs and talk about it. It was the most cutting edge show for it's time and it showed with the All-Star lineup of guest appearances from Bruce Willis, Phil Collins to Lou Diamond Philips.

Miami Vice had a few solid seasons under it's belt but just like any other show it jumped the proverbial shark. I'd have to pinpoint this shark jumping Fonzie feat at the episode that had some sort of Alien Cult that James Brown was a leader of. 

But How was the Miami Vice Movie, you ask? Well!, frankly, it was fucking terrible! And this is coming from a guy who went dressed as Crockett to the premiere of the movie. No matter how many times I've watched it (somewhere near 23 probably? both on HBO & OnDemand) it doesn't get any better,.....yet for some reason I still like it.

And of coarse you ask Why was the movie so bad? (or maybe is it Why is he still babbling? or Why I'm a Still reading this?)

Well thats a good question. One reason could be the lack of chemistry, if any, between the Silver Screen Crockett & Tubbs played by Colin Farrell & Jamie Foxx. The TV Crockett & Tubbs were partners and friends and it showed in their partying together outside of work (or during when they were undercover) as well as their arguments with each other. At the end of the day though they looked out for each other.

Another reason the movie sucked could be because just the lack of enthusiasm or any emotion by any character in entire cast. None of the actors could have acted their way out of a paper bag (and I've Watched "Honey" with Jessica Alba, but I'm not gonna lie I watched it on Mute).
The movie was also filmed in a very dark tone and didn't capture Miami's bright vibrant life style unlike the show which would burn the shit out of your Retina's with all the fucking pastel colors.

Well, in conclusion I must say after reading over all my blog I can only go on to say that I have no life and should probably get out more!

***Name the other late 80's early 90's TV Character Who Lived on a House Boat! The prize you ask? Sharing the equal amount of shame as me for having useless knowledge***