So recently I don't know why but I've found that Real Dolls are absolutely hilarious. For what reason why I find this completely hysterical is beyond me but I have noticed I'm not the only one who thinks this way.
Some of you may say "Hey I rubbed one out to that on HBO's Real Sex," but for of those you who are "in the dark" on exactly what a Real Doll is, congratulate and thank yourself. A Real Doll is basically the creepiest thing anybody could own. A Real Doll is an incredibly life like Receptacle which are usually female. Although they also have Male Dolls available it begs the question, Which is creepier to own?, Male or Female?, I'm gonna go with my gut and say Female.
Lately in the media there has been a keen awareness to exactly how creepy/humorous it is to own a Real Doll. Two Years ago Ryan Gosling starred in the heartwarming Rom-Com "Lars and the Real Girl" about a delusional young man who strikes up an unconventional relationship with a Real Doll that he finds on the internet. I won't go any further about the movie because I don't want to spoil anything about the movie for those of you who haven't seen it as it is a good movie and should be viewed anyone.
The BBC (the British Broadcast Company, not the other acronym you sick perverts!) put out a documentary 2 years ago called "Guys and Dolls." The documetary profiled the lives of 4 Creeps (with a capital C & an exclamation point!) who owned Real Dolls. One of the owners by the name of "DaveCat" lived in the suburbs of Detriot. "DaveCat" reminded me of this guy that I used to work with both physically and mannerism/personality wise that it creeped me out.
Another Gentleman, and I use that term loosely, profiled in the BBC documentary was a gentleman by the name of Mike. Mike owned a beyond phenomenally creepy count of 8 Real Dolls. Mike also supplied 2 hilarious moments in the film, one where he was cleaning out one of his dolls unmentionable parts with a Swiffer duster as he stated that particularly doll was "beginning to smell like fish."
The other fantastic moment Mike supplied was when he invited his real girlfriend over for his birthday and had all of his dolls sitting at a table with party hats on which in sighted the response of "I need a drink" from his girlfriend.
Lastly on the subject of the BBC's documentary there was one other fantastic quote/moment of the film that I need to share. This part profiled the maintenance man of the Real Dolls who would, um, repair, these Real Dolls. Now, one would think when preforming work on said Dolls that one would wear proper sanitary gear. Not this guy, he hunkers down as he gets into the nitty gritty with no gloves on as he pulls out damaged pieces as he says "I'm running all out of Vaginas."
Now I'm not completely condoning the Real Doll because besides providing "companionship" here are a few Pros that out weigh the Cons, Let's Review!
- You can now list a Dependent on your Tax Forms!
- Kiss Traffic goodbye as it is now clear sailing in the HOV car pool lane!
- You now have a permeant fan in the stands for all of your Adult Slow Pitch Softball Games!
- No more Chef Lonely Heart's Soup for One, Now you can Wine & Dine on TV Dinners for Two!
- Never having to go to a Family Event ever again!
- Ladies, Never feel vulnerable ever again, as the Male Real Doll is the best Male deterrent since the invention of the Shawl!
- Faking your Death has never been easier!
- Never Pay for Prostitutes both Monetarily and/or Health wise ever again!